removepoke

I just never really got into it.  I played Scrabulous with some online friends, but that was the extent of it.  I did the rare search for ex loves and all that, but I never got further than their public pages.  I let sleeping dogs lie, for the most part.  I routinely forgot about Facebook for months at a time.

Then, about two months ago, nearly everyone from my adolescence in Saudi Arabia got on FB and honestly, it has been downright magical.  We had all scattered to the farthest corners of the Earth, in a time before email - and even then, we were ridiculously dedicated to letter writing - but eventually, we all lost touch.

We had a reunion in 2004 that changed my life - when you are an expat kid, you can NEVER go home - but this was the next best thing.  Friends are indeed the family you choose.  Many of us got on regular emails and updates and saw each other on business and pleasure trips.  Even though we couldn’t go revisit the old hangouts, we did it expat-kid style, in random cities, just reconnecting and assuming relationships that were just paused, never ended.

And then everyone from back then discovered Facebook and my mind was once again blown.  I just got a message from one of my closer friends and neighbors - someone I haven’t spoken to since 1986.  He is a proud Muslim who lived amongst foreigners in his own country (albeit a very American enclave) and he taught me everything I know about the personal, practical side of Islam.  He lived across the street - I ate dinner with his family and babysat his younger brothers when I was grounded, which was often.

I was the face of Americans to his family and he was the face of Islam to mine.  My dad admired his drive, ambition, and manners.  For me, he was just the gorgeous guy across the street who I had to try to beat out for top grades in the class, and one of my closest friends.  We had nothing and everything in common.

I actually welled up, seeing his message, which was exactly what I would have expected from him.

forwhenifeellikesharing:

• overly enthusiastic statuses
• photo albums of people living it up in Europe
• people bragging about school or work
• people suddenly being “in a relationship”
• seeing people I do not (and have never) like(d) but can’t un-friend update anything
• un-returned wall posts

I am not a bitter jerk of a person, but FaceBook just irritates the crap out of me. It leaves you to compare yourself with far too many people. Far too many peers. Peers who are doing many, many great things. And sure it makes you want to go out and live life to the fullest, but it’s also a lot to process. To weigh yourself against. And it’s in your face. And visual.

The photos. Bleck. Even if you want to un-tag them, you’re still in albums. And you get to evaluate your looks. Constantly.

And it’s all so showy. “LOOK AT WHAT I LIKE! LOOK HOW COOL I AM! LOOK I’M WITTY! LOOK AT MY SIXPACK! LOOK I WENT TO PARIS AND ROME!” I don’t feel like selling myself unless I want a date or a job or a second date.

And now I have to have it to stay in touch with former coworkers and friends. And so I don’t look “out of touch.” Ugh.

Tomorrow: I’m starting to exercise because I can fit comfortably in ONE (of 8) pairs of pants. Tuesday: I had better have a job by the end of the day or I’m going to be forced to consider moving back to Kentuckiana and make plans to leave the country. (Read: Teach English in Japan.)

so fucking true.